E-Wrestling > RPG Tournament and EFK Podcast Archive

Semis

(1/1)

Ryan Ruckus:
*Figured it was academic at this point. Thanks for the extension. And thanks to Hondo for understanding.*

-R




EFed Knights semi-finals: Ryan Ruckus and Billy Joe Winchester v. Scorpio and Rose

(We’re backstage at the Efed Knights event, in the locker room of Ryan Ruckus. He’s just finished lacing his boots and is looking into the mirror as he lowers his 2-tone shades into place. And there’s a KNOCK at the door.)

R2: Yeah?

(The door swings open to show the beer-bellied form of the Mason/Dixon Madman, Billy Joe Winchester.)

BJ: Some feller out there with a clipboard said you wanted tuh see me.

(Billy Joe burps.)

R2: Yeah. So check it out. My people were crunching some numbers, and it seems you’re my best choice for tag partner.

(BJ spits some chew juice on the ground.)

BJ: Yeah, I reckon I reached that conclusion mahself.

(Ruckus stares at the puddle of chew juice.)

R2: Alright then.  See you out there.

(Cut to ringside. Fans are jumping up and down, waving their signs. And Sin City Wrestling’s award-winning commentary team is in the hot seats.)

CR: Wrestling fans, welcome to the semi-finals! I am Courtney Reynolds.

OC: And I am Oscar Cruize, reminding you to please spay or neuter your pets.

(Kanye West jumps the rail and grabs a headset.)

KW: That was ai’ight. Bob Barker did it better.

(Oscar looks at Courtney. Courtney shrugs.)

Announcer: Our next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a tag match to decide the finalists of the third EFK tournament.

("Pour Some Sugar On Me" his the speakers and the fans begin to boo as smoke fills up the entranceway. After a few seconds Scorpio and Milana step through to even more raptuous boos, and they embrace on the stage before beginning to walk down the ramp.)

Announcer: Making his way first to the ring, from London England… the S Factor… SCORPIO!!!

(As they walk the fans shout insults towards them, however Scorpio turns his nose up to them, and when he reaches the end of the ramp he takes off his sunglasses and begins to hand them to a kid near the guard rail, instead choosing to crumple said sunglasses up infront of the kid.)

CR: Did you know Scorpio did that thing with his glasses? It’s like he’s the dark Ryan Ruckus.

OC:  Ryan Ruckus is the dark Ryan Ruckus.

(Scorpio and Milana then link arms and walk to the stairs and they walk up them, heading along the apron before Scorpio waits for Milana to sit on the middle rope and push the top one up for him to enter. The two then re-convene in the middle of the ring and embrace once more before waiting for the match to start.)

Announcer: And his partner, from Caerfilli, S.Wales, ROSE!!!

(Land of My Fathers begins to play and the lights in the arena turn to red and green. Rose walks out on to the stage, Welsh flag slung on his shoulder. He looks solemn and proud, and expects respect and silence from the crowd in tribute to the song and his heritage.)

Fans: Boo!!!

(Rose takes it in stride, and walks down the ramp, occasionally raising the flag, looking proud. At the bottom of the ramp Rose stops for a moment and swings the flag from side to side before walking up the steps and climbing into the ring. He swings the flag for a few more moments before leaving the flag in the corner and doing a couple of final stretches, ready for the match.)

OC: He’s kinda pale for an Asian isn’t he?

CR: Oscar, he’s announced from the United Kingdom.

OC: Yeah, but there’s a dragon on his flag, and everybody knows dragons are from Asia, Court.

CR: You are a tragic ass.

(“Redneck Piece of White Trash” hits the PA, to a good amount of fan acclaim.)

Announcer: And their opponents, first from Possum Creek, Arkansas… He is the Hardcore Hillbilly… BILLY JOE WINCHESTER!!!

(Billy Joe does his little redneck shuffle to the ring. He stops along the way tipping his camo hat toward certain women and kids.)

OC: Is that guy drunk?

CR: Aren’t you?

(Oscar puts his “thermos” under the commentary table.)

Roll sound…

(Pop!)

Toomtoom CLACK
Toomtoom CLACK.

OC: Why does Ruckus get to come out last?

Kanye: It’s all about what’s in your contract, son. My boy, Ruck is educated.

(Ruckus runs over to the commentary table and grabs a mic.)

R2: Please don’t align me with you. Thanks.

(Ruckus runs back to the ramp to play out his entrance.)

Kanye: Yo, why would he do that?

OC: He’s a jackass.

(Courtney rolls her eyes.)

Announcer: And his partner… from the City of Angles… representing Anti-Heroes Anonymous… RYAN RUCKUS!!!

(SCW Global title slung over his shoulder, Ruckus makes his way down to the ring. The fans in attendance clap-clap-stomp his progress, and he stops to give his shades to a kid in the front row.)

OC: See!

(-Then he climbs into the ring and grabs a microphone.)

R2: E-Fed Knights!!!

(POP!)

R2: My name is Ryan Ruckus. And I’m an Anti-Hero.

Fans: Hi, Ruckus!

(Crack! Scorpio comes from behind and levels Ruckus with a spinning heel kick. The bell rings, and Billy Joe Winchester is ushered out of the ring as he comes in for revenge.)

CR: And here we go, Scorpio starting off against Ryan Ruckus.

OC: And might I say, we’re off to a hell of a start.

(Ruckus tries to make it to his feet, but Scorpio kicks his legs out from under him. The fans boo, and Scorpio loves it, capping their jeers off with a standing moonsault.)

1…

2…

kickout.

(Scorpio lifts Ruckus up. Ruckus shocks him with a jumping hurricanrana. The move isn’t all that devastating, and Scorpio rolls through it, standing with a smirk. Then he realizes Ruckus tagged Winchester.)

OC: Ladies and gentlemen, the redneck is in the ring.

(BJ stalks toward Scorpio. The look in his eye says everything Scorpio needs to know. So Scorp pokes Bill Joe in the eye and tags in Rose.)

CR: Scorpio, reminding everyone exactly what he stands for, and here comes the no-nonsense Welshman.

(Rose comes on and Billy Joe catches him with an old-fashioned American dream bionic elbow combination. Rose tries to counter with a right hand, but Winchester blocks it and winds his arm up for a big punch.)

CR: No, Rose ducked the bow!

(-And slides around behind, dropping Billy Joe with a backcracker. Then he puts a boot on BJ’s face and does his best to scrape the skin off it. The crowd jeers and Winchester dabs a hand at his eyes. Rose poses with his hands thrust toward the air. Billy Joe rolls him up with a school boy.)

1…


2…


Kickout.

(And as Billy Joe gets back to his feet, the faster Rose brings a knee to into his head. Then Rose lifts Winchester up, rears back and delivers a headbutt. Only Billy Joe’s head is like concrete, and Rose staggers backward dazed.)

OC: Ha! Rose just did more damage to himself.

(Billy Joe holds up a finger, as if to say, watch this, then steps in and spits tobacco right in Rose’s eye.)

CR: Gross.
 
Kanye: Joe Muddin does it better.

(Rose stumbles into his corner, and as the referee warns Billy Joe, Scorpio tags himself in, and delivers a surprise super kick to the ornery hick. Billy Joe is rocked around to the left, and lands –incapacitated- facedown on the top turnbuckle of his corner. Tobacco drools from his lips.)

OC: C’mon, he’s mucking up the ring.

(Scorpio comes on, but Ruckus slaps Billy Joe on the back and slingshots in with a front dropkick. The crowd roars, but the referee didn’t see the tag. He attempts to wedges himself between Ruckus and Scorpio, but they’ll have none of it. Scorpio throws out a chop which R2 arm bars and whips him toward the corner and RIGHT into Billy Joe. Ruckus charges with a Stinger Splash, hitting all of it. The blow stuns Scorpio, but seems to wake Winchester up.)

OC: C’mon ref. Get him out of the ring.

CR: Oscar, you saw Ruckus make the tag.

OC: But the referee didn’t. I hate to say it, Court, but rules are rules.

(And the referee seems to agree, finally convincing Ruckus to leave the ring, as Scorpio wanders to tag in Rose. Rose enters and looks around. It almost seems too easy as he builds up a head of steam and runs at Winchester with a mean Yakuza kick.)

CR: No! Winchester made it out just in time.

(Rose hangs his leg up on the top turnbuckle, and as he turns around, hobbling, Winchester catches him with the 30.06! BJ hooks the leg.)

1…

(Scorpio’s in the ring.)

2…

(But Ruckus stops him with an apropos spinning heel kick.)

Three.

Ding,ding,ding

CR: Ruckus and Winchester did it.

(Billy Joe hops to his feet and Ruckus joins his celebration as Redneck Piece of White Trash hits the PA.)

OC: Ugh. I can’t take all that twang.

(Scorpio hangs his head and makes his way to the back with Milana. Rose hits himself in the side of the head, disappointed in his misstep, then grabs his flag and heads to the back as well. Then it dawns on R2 and BJ that they’re now enemies, and they turn to face each other. Neither is sure the other won’t start a scuffle right there and then.)

CR: That’s right, folks. As per the rules, these two are now opponents.

OC: Maybe we’ll get to see a fight!

(There’s an uncomfortable moment where the audience is on the edge of their seats. Then Ruckus gives a smirk and rolls out of the ring, letting Winchester know he’s got his eye on him as he carries his championship belt toward the back.)

Winners: Billy Joe Winchester and Ryan Ruckus

And they all lived happily ever after.

Navigation

[0] Message Index