E-Wrestling > RPG Tournament and EFK Podcast Archive

Semi-Final Tag match featuring Ruckus, Winchester, Rose, Scorpio

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Drama Queen:
Deadline is Sept 20

I will be picking the winning entry for this one, seeing as all four remaining entrants are... well... remaining. And therefore involved in the match.

The four people mentioned above are divided into teams (who is partnering with who, that is up to you) and face off.

Whoever writes the best match secures a place in the final along with whomever they wrote as being their partner.

Good luck.

JackHondo:
OOC: I Had a really REALLY hard time choosing a partner for this match. Russ, Ruck and Johawan each have done a FANTASTIC job in this tournament, and each deserve a spot in the finals. In the end, I went back and decided that whomevers matches were the most entertaining throughout the tournament was the one who would be my partner. But to all three of you, GREAT JOB!!!

----------------------


Backstage, after his grueling match with Nick Stevenson, Billy Joe Winchester is walking through the corridor trying to “walk off” some of the pain in his bad knee. He’s not really paying attention to where he’s going, and walks right into someone.

“Owww! Son of a--!!”

BJ looks up to see Scorpio, the front of his shirt covered in scalding hot coffee.

BJ: Oh, sorry there buddy. I don’t reckon I seen you there.

Scorp: You…you hayseed hillbilly moron! That was hot coffee! And it’s ruined my $500 shirt! You owe me some cash, little man!

BJ: Hey, take it easy there buddy. I said I was sor—

About that time, Rose turns the corner to see the heated argument.

Rose: Hey hey, fellas. What, um…what seems to be the major malfunction?

Scorp: This dumb redneck doused me with coffee! It burned my chest and ruined my designer shirt!

BJ: Hey, I didn’t do it on purp—

Rose: Ouchie, Scorp. That looks like a nasty burn you got there. And you’re right, that is a magnificent shirt that’s basically trash. I really think you owe this man an apology.

BJ: I did! I told him I wa—

Scorp: You don’t get it, do you Jethro! (looks at Rose) Looks like our little friend here doesn’t learn his lessons too easily.

Rose: I’d say you’re right about that.

Scorpio turns and kicks BJ right in his bad knee. BJ collapses to the ground, trying to grab at his bum leg. Scorpio and Rose start stomping away at the downed BJ, laying into him a little harder with each stomp. But it’s always darkest before the dawn, and BJ’s unlikely savior just turned the corner.

“Hey! HEY! What’s going on here??”

Ryan Ruckus rushes towards the scrum. Seeing Ruckus, both Scorpio and Rose turn tail and run away. But it looks like the damage has already been done. Nobly, BJ tries to get up, using the molding on the walls to try to pull himself up. Ruckus helps him to his feet, BJ wincing and rubbing his knee.

Ruckus: What happened there?

BJ: I ain’t quite sure yet, but I reckon those boys need to work on their southern hospitality a bit.

Ruckus: Eh, I’m not much on either of those guys myself. Hey, tonight we’ll take care of them, whaddya say? As partners in the tag team match?

BJ: (still wincing) Much oblige, Ruckus. I reckon I’ll take you up on that.

Ruckus: Great. Great, man. Now, go to the trainer’s room and ice that knee down a little. You’re gonna need all the strength you can get.

BJ nods his head and limps over towards the trainers’ room. Ruckus watches him until he moves out of sight. He turns and smiles mischievously.

Ruckus: (to self) No offense Mr. Winchester, but a lifelong jobber such as yourself will be easy pickings in the Finals. Especially with that bad wheel of yours. Sometimes I’m so brilliant, I even surprise myself.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




Faceless Announcer: The following match is set for one fall, and is a Tag Team match! The winning team will advance to the finals to determine the Tournament Champion! The referee for this match…

A man with a black ski mask stands in the middle of the ring.

FA: Is….um…

Miles Wright: Wait, who is that? In the ski mask. Is this our referee?

Bruce Charming: It’s Sonny Bono, returned from the grave!

Wright: ….

Charming: What, too soon?

The person in the mask takes it off to reveal themselves as…

Charming: …

Wright: …

Charming: Er, Miles? Who is that supposed to be?

Wright: I’m…I’m not sure. Wow, this is a little embarrassing.

Faceless Announcer: The referee for this match is…um…

Annoyed, the man yells out his name.

FA: Bronson Pinchot!

Charming: Who??

Wright: It’s the guy from Perfect Strangers!

Charming: THAT’S who that is??

FA: Introducing first…

The familiar strains of “Redneck Piece of White Trash” by Rebel Son plays, and Billy Joe Winchester and Ryan Ruckus walk out together. They both slap a few hands as they make it to ringside.

FA: At a total combined weight of 492 lbs, the team of Ryan Ruckus and Billy Joe Winchester!

Charming: This seems to be an unlikely tag team. You have the youth, charisma and talent of Ryan Ruckus. And then you have…Billy Joe Winchester.

Wright: Give the man credit, Bruce. He’s made it this far in the tournament. You gotta give him his props for that!

Charming: Give him his props? Since when did you start trying to be hip?

And their opponents…

Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” plays, and out come the alliance of Scorpio and Rose, accompanied by Scorpio’s valet, Milana Hruska. They pose on the stage, much to the delight of no one, before making their way down.

FA: At a total combined weight of 465 lbs, and accompanied to the ring by Milana Hruska, the team of Scorpio and Rose!!

Charming: Hmm. Scorpio Rose. Sounds like a cheap brand of tequila.

Wright: But that wouldn’t stop you from drinking it, would it?

Charming: No, no it would not.

The bell sounds and we’re under way. It looks like Rose and Winchester will be starting this match off. The two circle each other and prepare for the lockup. But before that can commence, Rose holds a single finger up, as if to say “wait”. He goes over and steps up to the middle rope and raises his arms in the air and lets out a loud “Whoooo!” The crowd is less than enthusiastic to say the least, and they show it with a flurry of boos and catcalls. Confused, Rose jumps down. Winchester, in an apparent bid to one-up him, goes over to the opposite turnbuckle, and does the same schtick. But since he’s the good guy, everyone cheers and whistles loudly. Winchester takes a brief moment to soak in the admiration, but it’s short-lived, as Rose attacks him from behind.

Wright: Looks like Rose suckered him into that one. Someone’s been watching their NWA tapes!

Charming: Yeah, Straight Outta Compton was a great album.

Wright: No, I mean…ugh, nevermind.

Rose lays into Winchester with a series of rights in the corner. He whips the Hillbilly into the far corner, and takes off for a Stinger Splash-type maneuver. But BJ wisely moves out of the way at the last minute, and Rose meets a face full of turnbuckle. He staggers back, a bit addled from the impact. BJ takes advantage and hits a nice little Neckbreaker and goes for the pin. Pinchot breaks his eyes from the lovely Milana long enough to make the count…

1…

2…

Wright: And Rose is up at two. Nice Neckbreaker by Winchester, by the way.

Charming: I gotta say, throughout this whole tournament, we’ve seen a different side to Winchester. He’s actually acting somewhat competent!

Wright: When you say it like that, it sounds condescending.

Charming: That’s because it IS condescending.

In a fit of momentum, BJ rolls out of the ring after the Neckbreaker and heads straight for Scorp’s lady-friend, Milana Hruska. With one quick motion he grabs her by the back of the head and plants a big ole hillbilly kiss right on her lips. He releases quickly and rolls back in the ring before repercussions such as a slap or some mace can take place. She is obliviously disgusted by this greatly. But the crowd loves it and is cheering wildly. Scorp is insenced, and is stomping and screaming on the apron.

Wright: Whoo, pig sooey! Looks like Milana got a big ole “bite of sugar” there!

Charming: When did you die and get reincarnated as Uncle Elmer?

Milana is wiping her mouth feverishly, spitting and trying to get the “hillbilly cooties” off of her. Wasting no more time, BJ pulls Rose up by the hair and drags him over to his corner. He tags in Ruckus, but not before stretching a somewhat loopy Rose backwards over his knee. Ruckus ascends to the middle rope, and comes down with a Front elbow shot across Rose’s prone chest.

Charming: That was like that one move that one tag team used to do.

Wright: What? What did you say?

Charming: You know, those guys with the black leather S&M masks and painted faces. And a little Oriental guy followed them to the ring.

Wright: Oh, you mean Demol—

Charming: NO! We can’t say their names! It’s trademarked by that…other…company.

Wright: Then why even bring it up?

Charming: So I could shush you in mid sentence for once.

Wright: Oh good grief…

Ruckus drags Rose up and puts him in a Side Headlock. Wisely, Rose backs him into the ropes. Using a bit of momentum, he pushes Ruckus into an Irish Whip. Rose bounds the ropes too and goes for a Cross Body. But Ruckus wisely drops flat to the ground, and Rose goes sailing overhead. He hits the mat with a thud, and rolls out of the ring immediately, holding his chest and ribs. Scorpio goes over to hug/reassure his partner in that “It’s OK, we’re still big tough guys” thing that heels usually seem to do. The crowd is excited, on their feet as Referee Pinchot makes the count.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Charming: I hate to break this mutual love-fest, but they’re gonna get counted out if he doesn’t get back in there soon.

5…

6…

Scorpio pats Rose on the back and says something to him, I’m assuming it was a cake recipe or words of encouragement, one of the two. Rose reluctantly rolls back in the ring, effectively breaking the count.

Ruckus and Rose circle each other and go for a Lockup. But Ruckus dramatically reverses the lockup and hits a swift German Suplex on Rose.

Wright: Great move by Ryan Ruckus!

Ruckus drags Rose up and tags Winchester back in. Both BJ and Ruckus Irish Whip Rose into the far ropes. BJ and Ruckus hit a beautifully executed Double Drop Kick.

Charming: What th--?! OK, so who does Billy Joe Winchester think he is, Ricky Morton?!

BJ picks Rose up and brings him back down HARD with a Body Slam. BJ hits the far rope, presumably to capitalize on the prone Rose. But that sneaky devil Scorpio pulls the ropes down at the last possible second, sending BJ careening out of the ring full-speed and crashing with a flabby thud on the outside. The crowd lets out a loud “Ohhhhh!” from the terrible bump, while a few smart-alecky fans start an “E-C-Dub” chant.

Wright: DEAR SWEET ANGEL OF MERCY! BILLY JOE WINCHESTER IS DEAD! HE HAS TO BE DEAD!

Charming: So I guess the hillbilly has finally crashed down to Earth, huh?

Wright: …

Scorp points to his brain and smiles defiantly as Pinchot begins counting…

1…

2…

Charming: They might as well save themselves the trouble and just end the match now. There’s no WAY Winchester can continue!

3…

4…

5…

BJ is stirring a bit now, but doesn’t get the chance to convalesce as Scorp jumps down from the apron and rolls BJ back into the ring. Rose has already made his way back to his feet and lays a few quick stomps into the fallen redneck. He turns to the crowd and does his best Lex Luger muscle flex pose. But unlike Lex’s usual crowd reaction to flexing (more often than not complete silence), the crowd is peppering him with jeers and loud swears. He bounds off the ropes and sends a Knee Drop crashing into BJ’s head. He goes for a quick cover…

1…

2…

Wright: We’ve said it before, but Billy Joe Winchester has heart!

Charming: How many? A cow has four, so how many would a big ole fat guy the size of Winchester have?

Wright: There is soooo much wrong with that statement.

Charming: Yeah, Mr. Professor? Like what?

Wright: Well for one, Billy Joe’s not a “big ole fat guy”. And cows don’t have multiple hearts, they have multiple stomachs!

Charming: …screw you, Miles.

Rose goes over and tags in Scorp, who sees his first action of the match. And no doubt he wants a little retribution for BJ and Milana’s “spit swapping” from earlier. He wastes no time and hits Winchester with a dropkick to his bad leg. Winchester hits the mat, clutching his oft-attacked bad wheel.

Charming: Billy Joe is gonna need one heck of a reconstructive surgeon once this tournament is over. He might as well paint a big ole bullseye on his knee that says “Attack Me Here, Please!”

Scorp gets back up and hooks a Leg Lace on BJ’s bad leg. BJ howls in agony as Milana cheers on from outside. BJ flails his arms, reaching for the ropes, but they are simply too far away. Ruckus jumps in the ring to try to break the hold, but Pinchot stops him, pushing him back to the corner. Rose takes the opportunity to jump in the ring and punch away at BJ’s bad leg while still in the hold.

Wright: Turn around ref! TURN AROUND BALKIE, YOU DUMB SON OF A BI—

Charming: Hey, hey! Let’s watch the language here, bub! If I ain’t allowed to cuss, then neither are you!

Balkie – er— I mean Referee Pinchot turns back to the action, but the damage has already been done and Rose is back in his corner. Things are looking bleak for BJ, as he is no closer to the ropes than before, and his already weakened knee is strained past its breaking point. Slowly, BJ’s arm raises in the air….and just as it’s about to come down on the mat….Scorp relinquishes the hold!

Wright: What?

Charming: What?

The Crowd: What?

Stone Cold Steve Austin: (at home drinking beer) What?

Ludwig Von Beethoven: (holding his hand to his ear) What?

Scorp quickly gets to his feet and swiftly kicks BJ in the leg. He cockily circles the ring, making kissy faces as he strides.

Charming: Looks like he’s going to punish BJ for a while due to his…shall we say…extra-curricular activities?

Wright: Well fans, that would appear to be the case. But he SHOULD be concentrating on winning this match! Billy Joe Winchester appeared to be ready to tap out, ending this match!

BJ is trying valiantly to get to his feet. But Scorp kicks his bad wheel out from underneath him. BJ is on his stomach, trying once more to push himself up. Scorp gets over and stands on BJ’s back. He flips forward, crushing BJ with a Senton!

Charming: That would be the “Stand-On-U Senton”, I assume?

Wright: Whatever it was, you gotta give credit to that beautiful move!

Scorp goes for a pinfall…

1…

2…

Wright: What? He just pulled Winchester’ shoulders off the mat! For a SECOND time, this match shoulda been over!

Scorp pulls BJ up to his feet, but BJ can’t really stand. So Scorp punishes him with a BRUTAL Ensiguri Kick (or as Joey Styles would say, “ENN-ZEE-GOOREY!”. And once more, he goes for another pinfall.

1…

2…

Wright: WHAT is this man thinking?! THREE TIMES HE COULDA WON, AND THREE TIMES HE RELENTED!

Charming: That Milana is a hot piece of tail. If some dude went and kissed her, I’d make him suffer too.

Wright: That was a very offensive statement.

Charming: It was?

Wright: Yes!

Charming: Oh, sorry. Allow me to rephrase. That BROAD is a hot piece of tail.

Wright: Sometimes I wonder about you…

Scorp gets back to his feet and unleashes a series of Martial Arts kicks to BJ’s bum wheel. He keeps this going for several seconds, with eventually Referee Pinchot forcing him off. Satisfied with the punishment, Scorp points to the top rope.

Wright: Looks like Scorpio might be going for the “Snapped”! If he hits it, this one is mercifully over!

Scorp quickly ascends the turnbuckles and looks out over the booing crowd. He leaps with his hybrid Moonsault/Double Knee Drop, but a barely lucid BJ rolls out of the way JUST in the nick of time! Scorp falls knees first on the mat, and he lets out a mighty yell that could wake the dead. (And if the dead do indeed wake, call Stoner. He’ll know what to do). Both men are down on the mat, and the crowd is on his feet. Ruckus is on the outside, stomping his feet rhythmically, extending his hand over the rope. Pinchot starts the count…

1…

2…

3…

4…

Charming: Scorpio is moving towards his corner!

5…

Wright: So is Winchester!

6…

7…

Scorp finally reaches his corner and tags in Rose. And just before Rose reaches Winchester to stop the tag, Winchester finishes channeling the Ricky Morton within and front rolls to his corner and tags in Ruckus! THE CROWD IS GOING CRAZY!

Wright: THERES THE TAG! THERES THE TAG!

Ruckus his the ring with a fiery intensity! Rose tries to beg off, but he’s gifted with a knuckle sandwich instead. Rose is down! Scorp gets back in the ring to restore order to his side, but Ruckus hits him too! Rose is back up! And he’s back down! Scorp is back up! And he’s back down! Ruckus slaps the mat with his hands and pumps his fists!

Charming: I haven’t seen this much up-and-down action since I watched that Midnight screening of Caligula!

Wright: Thanks for that horrible mental picture of you watching Caligula!

Scorp rolls out to safety as Ruckus picks Rose up by the hair and Headbutts him to the ground. Ruckus looks out to the crowd and signals for the end!

Wright: Could it be? Could we see the DealBreaker right here?

Meanwhile, outside the ring, Milana is yelling for Referee Pinchot to turn around.

Milana: BALKIE! BAAALLKKIIEE!! LOOK OVER HERE, MY SHOE IS UNTIED!

Pinchot instinctively turns, and Milana turns and bends over to tie her shoe.  Only problem is, she’s wearing boots with no laces. She seductively bends over, ever so slightly revealing her underwear. Being the sex pervert that he was from The Surreal Life, he completely neglects the match and watches Milana’s show. Since he’s trying his best to see what’s underneath her skirt, he completely misses Scorpio roll back in the ring with an object of some sort.

Wright: What…what IS that, Bruce?

Charming: I dunno, it looks like some sorta sequined blowdryer or something.

Ruckus turns and gets blasted in the face with the object. He hits the mat hard as Scorpio nonchalantly slides the object out of the ring. He and Rose high five each other in celebration.

Wright: Those no-good cheaters! They’re gonna steal this match back from Winchester and Ruckus!

AS Scorp decides to get the ref’s attention, BJ comes from out of nowhere (not to be confused with Parts Unknown) with a vicious Double Spear!

Wright:    DOUBLE 30.06!! DOUBLE 30.06!!

Charming: Wouldn’t a Double 30.06 be a 60.12?

Wright: Works for me. 60.12!! 60.12!!

Both Scorpio and Rose are down and out! BJ rolls Ruckus’ arm over Rose’s chest and turns the ref around. Pinchot gets down to make the count!

1…

2…

3!!!

Wright: It’s over! Ruckus and Winchester have advanced to the Finals!

FA: The winners of the match, RYAN RUCKUS AND BILLY JOE WINCHESTER!!

BJ gets back to the ring and helps his partner up. He pats him on the back a few times as Referee Pinchot raises their hands in victory.

Wright: This oughta be a great match for the finals. The natural ability of Ryan Ruckus and the unmatched heart of Billy Joe Winchester!

BJ turns to wave to the audience, and Ruckus takes advantage and clips his knee from beneath him! Winchester hits the mat hard and the crowd is more or less stunned.

Wright: What th—He turned on Winchester! HE TURNED ON HIM!

Charming: They’re not tag team partners anymore, Miles. They’re opponents next! Smart move getting an early advantage by Ryan Ruckus!

Ruckus goes over and snatches the mic out of Faceless Announcer’s hands. He stares down intently at Winchester.

Ruckus: Sorry ol’ buddy ol’ pal. But this, this is business. See you in the finals, if you can make it.

Ruckus throws the mic down and rolls out of the ring, walking up the ramp alone. He turns to stare at Winchester as he walks, and Winchester is staring back, a look of anger in his eyes, as the camera fades away…

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